Spark

Shayla recommended a book called Spark, by Sarah Beth Durst. As I started reading it, I didn't really like it so much, and it was slow going. And then I finally got into it, and have completely changed my mind. It is about a 12 year old girl named Mina, who lives in a society in which certain child volunteers are given the egg of a storm beast, which they carefully tend and nurture for two years, until the egg hatches. Then they and the beast do training so they can help to control the perfect weather of their country, Alorria.

Alorria is like Camelot--"the rain may never fall til after sundown, by eight the morning fog must disappear"--plus more. Their lightning beasts harvest electricity. Their sun and wind beasts make sure they have just the right amounts of those, etc. They know that there are more people in other countries on the other side of the mountain, but they think they are poor pathetic people, quite inferior to themselves, and when they rarely think about them at all, they just pity them because they do not live in such a perfect place as Alorria.

The book, is to me, kind of an allegory. There are people in Alorria who are concerned about what they are doing with the weather--the sky is all connected, they say--so what we do must surely impact the outside world. But mostly, people don't care because their own little part of the world is so perfect.

So when Mina accidentally meets the prime minister, and asks this one undesired question, "Does the ten year festival cause the ten year storms in the outside world?" she quickly realizes that not only is the answer to her question yes, but the powers that be KNOW they do--otherwise, why would it matter if she asked the question?

Mina is suspended from lightning school for a week--mostly to protect her from scrutiny until the backlash from her question dies down--she goes home, and gathers the courage to speak to her family about why she is really suspended. When she tells them about the connection between the festival and the storms, this happens on pages 210-211:

Gaton (her older brother): Wait--you heard the rumors, too? And you asked the prime minister?
Papa: I'm sure you're mistaken. The storm beasts prevent storms, not cause them. What happens beyond the mountains has nothing to do with us.
Mother: You insulted the prime minister? She's a national hero! She isn't keeping secrets from her people! That's ridiculous!
Gaton: You're seriously brave. I've heard stories about the prime minister--she hates to be wrong. So you're saying this is why you were suspended?
Papa: The weather in Alorria doesn't cause deaths beyond the mountains. I think you're overreacting. Yes, there has been discussion--
Mother: Lies. The festival doesn't "kill lots of people" [It does.] Storm beasts keep people safe! That's the entire point of celebration! Haven't you read your history?
Gaton: History approved by the prime minister! All weather is connected--the sky is all one piece. You can't dismiss facts just because you don't like where they lead!
Papa: Now, now. I'm sure our government wouldn't deliberately lie. And I'm sure that there's another logical explanation for these "deadly storms."
Mother: If they even exist. Has anyone seen a shred of proof? All I've heard is talk from people who have never even been beyond the mountains. [Mina has been there.]
Gaton: Are you saying Mina's lying?
Papa: Of course no one is saying that.
Mother: I'm saying she's mistaken.
Gaton: She talked with the prime minister!
Mother: But she didn't see any proof--
Gaton: She doesn't need proof, she has logic!
Papa: Let's all calm down.

I don't know about you, but that whole conversation reminds me, well, of the world (country) we live in.

Later, on page 236, Eione, from the other side of the mountain, in not-Alorria says: "You have any idea what it's like to face a killer storm? [a dying economy, war right in your neighborhood, lack of water due to changing weather patterns, extreme heat, starvation--you can replace so many things with killer storm in that question.] No, of course you don't, because in Alorria you only have perfect summer days with mild wind and endless sunshine as you live your perfect, mild lives of endless selfishness."

Wow. Mild lives of endless selfishness. Huh.

On page 262, Mina converses with her teacher, Professor Dano, who is also concerned about the plight of the rest of the world in the face of Alorrian decisions.

Dano: My friends don't believe that children have learned empathy yet. You have at least proved them wrong in that.
Mina: Don't they remember being my age?
Dano: Just the bad parts. Children can be selfish creatures.
Mina: Adults can be worse. (The prime minister and her advisors, after all, were adults. They knew the truth and had the power to do something to help, yet they refused to.)
Dano: I can't argue with that...You must understand that this is about more than one celebration. If the prime minister acknowledges that the festival causes deadly storms beyond the mountains, then it opens the door to change. The prime minister would need to reevaluate every use of storm beasts. If the festival causes harm, what else does? How does keeping our fields perfectly watered affect the ousiders? Examining the effects of our actions could have ramifications throughout the entire economy. Alorria has been prosperous because of its carefully cultivated selfishness. What happens when that crumbles?

Another wow. Carefully cultivated selfishness. Huh.

Back to Eione on page 288:

Eione: I don't want their pity. I want them to stop murdering our people and destroying our homes. [Which they are doing indirectly through the truly savage weather that does indeed kill and destroy.] How's she going to convince them to do that? Look at these people, smug in their wealth, blinded by their excess. What is she going to tell them that's going to compete with all this?

Smug in their wealth. Blinded by their excess. Could this be...us?

Mina has Eione speak--she doesn't do it herself. And one last paragraph from page 291: Just because mountains [borders] surrounded them didn't mean they were separated from the rest of the world. They were part of the world. Their sky was also everyone else's sky.

So much "meat" in this juvenile fiction book! Comments?

Visit of David and Ruth

It was fun to have David and Ruth, and Ruth's sister Carol, around for almost a week! It was very, very busy, and over in the blink of an eye!

It took a very long time for them to get from Calgary to Chubbock, Idaho, where they stayed Monday night at Brandon's house, because in addition to their visas that would allow them to visit the USA, they discovered they also need a permit each time they cross the border. So that cost them some time, frustration and money. Also, they immediately separated the girls from David, but they could not answer the questions without David's help--due to both language and also they literally did not know some things, like the address where they would be staying in Utah. (David's parents' home was not sufficient, I guess!) So that was fun for them. Welcome to the USA, the most free country in the world. Not.

They arrived to our home on Tuesday evening, and I threw together grilled cheese sandwiches and tomato soup to feed them. They went to the library to pick Josie up from work at 7:15, and then people just did whatever they wanted to do. Pretty sure I went to bed early.

Wednesday, I went to work. They got up at some point and took in the museums on the BYU campus, and showed Carol around a bit, since she has some interest in attending BYU at some future point. We met at lunch time for a Cannon Center meal, and then stopped back in the library for Albert Winkler's retirement shindig, at which David was able to see and talk to many of his former library colleagues. (An interesting point is that, for the girls, seeing the giraffes and zebras at the Bean Museum, though they were only stuffed ones, was their first time seeing those creatures. I told David that he really needs to take them to the Calgary Zoo.)

Roger Layton took this photo--we were talking with Janet and Janice, though Janet cannot be seen in this shot. Just Janice, me, David and Ruth. Carol was also present, but out of range--a move she purposefully made!

Wednesday night, David had tickets to "A Christmas Carol" at the Hale, which he friend Cristina Bean and her husband were in. I do not know if they took pictures. David said that Carol enjoyed the show, but it was a bit frustrating for Ruth, whose English is not quite up to understanding the nuances of musical theatre. Which, if you think about watching a musical in another language without subtitles is kind of a frustrating experience.

Thursday was their day to go to Salt Lake City and see all the sights. They went to Temple Square, the Beehive House, and I don't know what all else, but they waited to see the lights on Temple Square before driving home.

Friday was the day that they had no plans, so I wanted to give them some plans. They are both not very much in favor of spending money--Ruth even less so than David!! (I know--how is this even possible?!!) But I told them that I wanted to spend some money and make some memories. So I gave them the choice between the Dinosaur Museum and the Aquarium. Ruth opted for the aquarium, because there are dinosaur museums in Argentina that they had visited, but they had never been to an aquarium. This was a delightful experience for them, so I am very glad we went. Although I did not take many pictures, but I know that they did!

Much of the aquarium is dimly lit, so thank you to Nancy for brightening up this image so that the faces of people can be seen.

Carol, Ruth, David, Josie and Bruce at the aquarium

I was very, very sad because they were cleaning the sea otter exhibit, so there was not an otter to be seen!  I took very few photos, but I did take one picture of one of the displays, because it was just so pretty. Even better if you see it in real life, since the sea creatures are alive and moving! But it is still pretty.

I took one picture of our visitors at the entrance to the Utah exhibit, so here it is:

This almost looks like they went somewhere more south, but of course this is fake because it is an exhibit. David says that getting into that hole was not comfortable at all.

On Wednesday night, I had asked the girls what foods they miss the most from Argentina, and they said empanadas. And I knew there were empanadas available here, so I googled "best empanadas in Utah" and got one suggestion in Provo -- Empas, which is on 300 South, in the same little strip mall where Gloria's Little Italy used to be. So, when we finished at the aquarium, we headed to Provo to Empas, and the empanadas were really good, and super authentic according to our Argentinian nationals. They also were clearly super happy to have a long conversation in Spanish with another Argentine.

The owner was very nice, and before we went had texted the menu to me. I was very happy with the prices, though the girls thought the prices were high compared to Argentine prices.

All the females in our group got the Fugazza on our first round (Carol's treat) while Dad got beef and David got Saltena. On our second round, the girls got beef or chicken, and Dad tried Saltena and I can't remember which one David got! Let me tell you, the Fugazza is magnificent.

Saturday, David took the girls out shopping in the morning, while I was at home making funeral potaotes, one normal, and one gluten-free. Then we held our family Christmas Party/Meet and Greet David and Ruth at Dad's work in one of the conference rooms. At noon (or 12:30 by the time we started) we ate dinner with Kelli, Allen, Matthew, Stephen, Rosie and Austin--and R & A's dog Flynn. (They were enroute to Saint George, hence the need to bring Flynn, who was well behaved and spent most of the time in the kennel.)

Kelli planned this fun game where we passed this big ball of presents wrapped in cellophane, and you would have to unwrap until the person beside you rolled a 1 or a 6 on a dice. If you unwrapped a present, you got to keep it. The presents were small to large size candy packages, or gag gifts from the dollar store. It was super fun, even for people like me who got exactly zero presents.

Matthew had brought his tripod and camera to take photos, but I do not have any of them yet. I am sure they will be lovely.

Then small groups of family started arriving at two. Carlie and Mike came, bringing Ash. Then Uncle Bruce and Aunt Sara. I do have a picture of them:

Mike, Carlie, Bruce, Sara, Ash

 Then one of David's friends dropped in. He was a guy who had been in Spam-a-lot with David, so nobody else knew him. Unfortunately, Ruth and Carol took advantage of this distraction to slip away, walking to the nearby Walmart. I was kind of upset because I knew that Mary and Debbie were driving down from Salt Lake expressly to see David and meet Ruth. But this was entirely my own fault because I had not made clear to either of them the importance of this--and I can totally understand that, when your English is not the best and you have a bunch of new people to meet, you can feel awkward and need a break. So, I took some other pictures, but felt bad because Ruth and Carol were not there when I finally thought to pull out my camera.

Carlie meeting Flynn

Josie joining the group of our lovely ladies.

Clearly, I did not take this picture since I am in it. Uncle Bruce entertaining David and I with a story.

Mary and Debbie brought their husbands, and it was fun to visit with them, but they were disappointed and I was disappointed that they couldn't meet Ruth! They of course wanted to see David, but...They left about five minutes before Ruth and Carol returned! But here is a picture to prove that they came:

Kelli, Gary and Debbie, Me, Don and Mary, David, with Josie and Uncle Bruce in front

Saturday evening, David had a couple of friends over to play games, and Dad and I went with Kelli, Allen and Stephen to watch "A  Christmas Carol" at Orem Community Church. Allen's cousin Liz was in it, along with her husband and children. We have so many connections to Liz--besides that she is Allen's cousin, she worked with David at Syrsi-Dynix (she was the company lawyer), her step-father is Gerry Anderson from Taber whose sister Dorothy was one of my best friends when we were children, and her husband Steven Thonpson is my cousins Ted and Aleda Mitchell's nephew. So. Here is one of five youtube links--Liz's mom posted them. Here is a still from one of the videos of Steven Thompson's Scrooge.

Steve said his wife volunteered their family to participate in this only about 2-3 weeks ago, and he thought he would be in the chorus--and then he was cast as Scrooge! He did great.

Thanks to Kelli for treating us to that. I do not think Dad loved being there, but I did! It was fun to do something with Kelli, Allen and Stephen, and to watch the Thompson family shine in the play!

Sunday we headed to our ward's Christmas services, and David and the girls headed in to the conference center for Music and the Spoken Word. They loved it! This was their favorite experience in Utah, getting to hear the Tabernacle Choir sing live.

On Sunday afternoon, we played games. David bought a game that he used to play in England that is called "Ice Cool" and he and I and Ruth played it --how you decide who goes first is whoever was the last person to see a penguin. Since we had all seen a penguin or two or twenty or fifty on Friday, who would be first? David decided that since Ruth had been scrolling through her aquarium pictures, she was the last one to see a penguin, so she went first! Also, that game is really fun. I recommend it.

We also played Scrabble, and we let Ruth use a Spanish word, tajo. I was very happy to learn that word, because on Friday, I was cleaning sticky stuff off my scissors, and learned the hard way that two sanitary wipes between my thumb and the blade while doing a quick hard rub is not suffidient protection from slicing my thumb. I have quite a gash there. So, thanks to Ruth building my vocab, I can now say "Hay un tajo en mi dedo." Which is a true and painful statement!

We played RummiKub and talked with Nancy and family on the phone/video/communication devices, and David peeled the potatoes, and Josie mashed the potatoes, all the young folks being so helpful to spare my poor dedo with its tajo.

After dinner, David, Ruth and Carol worked with Bruce on his second birthday puzzle. I had gotten him a wasgij puzzle for his birthday that I did not know contained actually TWO 1000 piece puzzles. He and David had finished the first of them--the one whose picture is actually on the box--while David was here. 

This is the one they finished.

So they took that one apart, and in about an hour the four of them managed to complete the entire outside edge of the second puzzle, so the frame is ready and waiting for Bruce to finish it. Not to give it away, but this is what the second puzzle will look like:

And then, Bruce left for work, David moved his car into the garage, they loaded it up, everyone went to bed, and we got up this morning early, and they were on their way by 5 AM, as planned. They are now 10 hours or so into their journey, so I hope that all is well with them, but I don't know! (Yes, I do. It is now 3:25, and they just crossed the border and are back in Canada. I bet they feel more free! And less like grilled salmon--or grilled humans!--which was how they felt when crossing into the US--grilled!) We were so glad they came. We had an enjoyable week with them!

Talk A and B

I was supposed to give a 3-5 minute talk before the Primary Children sang in church today. This is what I planned to say, Talk A:

My 4 year old granddaughter. Zoë was being mean to her little brother, so her mom said, “You’ve got to start being nicer to your brother. Santa’s not going to be very happy when he sees how unkind you’re...
“Whoa, whoa, whoa!” Zoë interrupted. “You mean he can see us when we’re awake, too?! Then I’d better start being good! The song says, “He sees you when you’re sleeping” and “he knows when you’re awake.” What a tricky song! Why didn’t they just also say that he sees when you’re awake so we can know that?! I’m so behind on being good!!”

I tell this story not because it is funny, although it is, but to illustrate the point that children learn what they sing.

This happens to all of us. Music is a powerful tool. When we grow up singing the songs of the gospel, we internalize messages of testimony: “I know that my Redeemer lives” – messages of identity “I am a child of God” – messages of hope: “Fear not, I am with thee, oh be not dismayed” – messages of “Peace on earth, good will to men” and “Joy to the world, the Lord is come!”

We live in what is increasingly becoming a spectator culture. We do a whole lot of watching other people do things instead of doing them ourselves; listening to other people sing instead of singing ourselves. We erroneously think that singing is something for good singers to do, and the rest of us should just listen.

But this is not true. We all have good voices—after all, He who created all things and declared that they were good created your voice. It might not be trained, but it is a good voice because it is your God-given voice. The Lord said, “The song of the righteous is a prayer unto me, and it shall be answered with a blessing upon their heads.”

There are some built in blessings to singing: singing builds unity; it positively impacts mental health, and also physical health. Singing improves your heart rate, your breathing, even your immune system. These are automatic blessings available to all who sing. We are so blessed that we can come to church and sing together; to lift our voices in praise to our Father in Heaven and thereby enjoy the built-in blessings of singing! Our prophet, President Nelson, recently said, “Music is such a powerful form of worship, and that reality is never clearer than during the Christmas season when we enjoy beautiful carols that testify of the risen Lord. This December I hope you will make time with family and friends to enjoy the glorious music of this season.”

Today the Primary children and teachers are going to sing together. They will sing “Born to be a King.” This song was written last year, in 2018, by Sister Maren Burnham, who lives in Okotoks, Alberta, which is in the Calgary Alberta Foothills Stake. Sister Burnham says, “Writing this song was one of those times when you don't feel like it's you writing. After some prayer and reflection the song came while I was on one of my evening walks. I hurried home and spent the rest of the night writing this song. The next day I added the descant, and that is when it felt complete.”

I hope that you will all feel our testimonies of the Savior as we share this song with you.

But then life happened. First, I got a call 15 minutes to the hour, just before I was about to walk out the door, that the children needed to sing two songs instead of one because one of the singers had sick kids and couldn't come today.

Second, the lady who sang before, in her 3-5 minutes presented many of the same ideas I had, but she spoke for at least 7 minutes, and then she sang "O Holy Night" which is not short.  So, I was busy looking at my notes on my phone and deciding what to eliminate and what to add.

So this is what I actually ended up saying, Talk B:

My 4 year old granddaughter. Zoë was being mean to her little brother, so her mom said, “You’ve got to start being nicer to your brother. Santa’s not going to be very happy when he sees how unkind you’re...
“Whoa!” Zoë interrupted. “You mean he can see us when we’re awake, too?! Then I’d better start being good! The song says, “He sees you when you’re sleeping” and “he knows when you’re awake.” What a tricky song! Why didn’t they just say that he sees when you’re awake so we can know that?! I’m so behind on being good!!”

I tell this story not because it is funny, although it is, but to illustrate the point that children learn what they sing.

When we grow up singing the songs of the gospel, we internalize messages of testimony: “I know that my Redeemer lives” – messages of identity “I am a child of God” – messages of hope: “Fear not, I am with thee, oh be not dismayed” – messages of “Peace on earth, good will to men” and “Joy to the world, the Lord is come!”

The Lord said, “The song of the righteous is a prayer unto me, and it shall be answered with a blessing upon their heads.” Our prophet, President Nelson, recently said, “Music is such a powerful form of worship, and that reality is never clearer than during the Christmas season when we enjoy beautiful carols that testify of the risen Lord. This December I hope you will make time with family and friends to enjoy the glorious music of this season.”

Today the Primary children and teachers are going to sing together. It was a surprise to all of them that they will be singing two songs! First, they will sing "Far, far away on Judea's plains." The children love singing "Glory to God in the highest." And they also love this song because it was written by John Menzies McFarlane, who is related to our own McFarlane family. Next they will sing “Born to be a King.” This song was written last year by Sister Maren Burnham, who is a member of the Calgary Alberta Foothills Stake. Sister Burnham says, “Writing this song was one of those times when you don't feel like it's you writing. After some prayer and reflection the song came while I was on one of my evening walks. I hurried home and spent the rest of the night writing this song. The next day I added the descant, and that is when it felt complete.”

I hope that you will all feel our testimonies of the Savior as we share these songs with you.

So--everyone laughed in the story of Miss Z. The Primary sang beautifully. Even though I got all fuddled and DID NOT SWITCH THE SIGN for the second verse.  It was there for the first verse, which arguably the children do not need. But the second verse, it would have been good to have the sign. I have to forgive myself for that error--so, sorry me, for doing that!

Good Grief Advice

Sometimes I read some things that I just like to save, and this was one of those times. I read it here: https://www.thatericalper.com/2015/08/16/person-is-asking-for-advice-hn-how-to-deal-with-grief-this-reply-is-incredible/?fbclid=IwAR0xusm1FNTs4bgQfbXMkXpgtXbNWkhmtQAmaji6xh_N3o_s9_K_oNElV24

Puspanjali

Because we have visiting faculty from Bali, I Nyoman Windha (known to us as Pak) and his wife Ibu Gusti (known to us as Ibu--that is probably not her full name) both the music department and the dance department are benefiting from these faculty members. Pak is a gamelan musician and a composer, and Ibu is a dancer and choreographer.

We learned Puspanjali during the first semester of gamelan, about 11 years ago. We have performed it several times over the years, a couple of times with dancers. But this year was different because Pak Windha is the composer of Puspanjali, and Ibu Gusti was the original choreographer of Puspanjali. So that is cool. Also, it meant that we had to do some re-learning, those of us who have played it before, because other people's interpretations of Puspanjali were not the same as the composer's expectation of the sound.

The dance department puts on an event called "Christmas Around the World" during the first weekend in December. I have only gone to it occasionally--mostly when David was on the folk dance team, when we got great tickets so that we could watch him.

This year, the gamelan was asked to perform Puspanjali--so Josie and I got to perform in the Marriott Center, adding this venue to our other important venues like the Tabernacle on Temple Square and  Kingsbury Hall on the University of Utah campus.

So this week has been a very busy week, with tech rehearsal on Wednesday, dress rehearsal on Thursday, and performances Friday night and two times on Saturday. (There was an additional Friday performance for school children, but they did not involve us or the Men's Chorus--just dancers for that performance, to shorten the show. And also make it less chaotic backstage!!)

Holy cow, the Men's Chorus is huge!! You notice it more when they are all crammed into the tunnel with you and all the musicians of the gamelan and a bunch of the dancers. And they just could not realize the idea of being quiet. They were constantly too chatty! 

Our friend Dirk said, "They just keep coming. It's like that scene from the Matrix."

Although in this picture, they are going, not coming. Their part on the program was at a different time each of the three times we performed--they literally ran in and ran out because they had performances in the HFAC at or near the same time for each of the three. Last night (Saturday) they performed in the HFAC, ran over to the Marriott Center to perform, and then ran back to be in the final combined chorus finale in the HFAC. 

Here is Ibu Gusti and the young dancers practicing in the tunnel (when it was empty of young men):

This was from Friday night

Here we are on stage, a still captured from the video at the Thursday night dress rehearsal:

Josie and I are playing suling. It is weird to think that two sulings can be heard above the clanging of the brass instruments, but we actually can be heard. You can watch the video here.

I should also mention that set-up and take-down consumed some time this week, too. We moved the instruments on Wednsday afternoon at 3 pm. We was Jeremy, Pak, Rachael and me--John Shurtleff, who is the technical director for Young Ambassadors, was helping us. It was the best instrument move ever, because he was very thorough and careful.

For take-down, as soon as we finished performing for the last time, we took the instruments to an elevator, and got them out of the building during the second half. Some of us stayed in costume for the curtain call, and some of us went to the HFAC to off-load the truck. Since Josie and I had done the curtain call for the matinee, we elected to help with the off-loading. There were about seven of us to do that work. Josie jumped on the truck with John to help get the instruments off--they have worked together like that many times during YA tours, so it was old home week for them.

So it has been a fun and full week of performances!

Get out!

When Alexander "needs" to call me, and Nancy helps him to do that, he usually just sits there quietly and smiles at me, while I try to think of entertaining things to say, like "Don't climb on the table!" and "Are you being a good boy?" (I am sooo entertaining, am I right?)

But today he talked to me! He called me at my office (twice) and said, "Where are you?" And I said, "In my office." And then he said, "Get out, Naanii! Get out!"

It took me a moment to realize that he wanted me to climb out of the picture on the phone and into their house! I tried, but I could not do it.

Maybe he will invent that technology some day! I hope he hurries up and does it! It would make visiting so much easier!

Connections

So, I mentioned in a previous post that our university librarian, Jennifer, passed away after a hard-fought battle with metastatic breast cancer.  And then, at the baptism on Saturday, the bishop said something about that in our ward we have had recent births and a death--and Irene (our Primary President) and I looked at each other like "What?! Who?" because that was news to us.

Well, it was Carey Bott, our Relief Society secretary!!! What?!!!! She just didn't wake up on Friday morning, which was the day after Thanksgiving. It was so shocking for those of us who are Facebook Friends with Carey (and to literally everyone who is friends with Carey) because she was just fine!

On November 26, just three days before Carey woke up dead, her sister Vickie posted this: "Lunch day with my sisters at Olive Garden! It was wonderful getting together and talking. We had to cut our time short because Judy (one of the sisters) had a rough day with her tremors. No answers today--the doctor called and canceled her appointment because of a family emergency! We are frustrated not having any answers so please keep her in your prayers." And everyone is worried about Judy--but on November 29, it is Carey who is gone! She was 68, so at least she had a decade on Jennifer, who was only 57.

So Jennifer's funeral was on Monday, and Carey's was today, only I couldn't go because I had a noon-hour concert (which was amazing!) but I did contribute to the meal for the family, and stop in at the viewing before the service. I cut the line because I didn't know her husband's children, and went and talked to him and gave him a hug, and then I went to hug their son(ish) because I knew he would need it.

And this is where Jennifer's story and Carey's story meets--with the son, Dawson.

So, almost 6.5 years ago, when we moved into this ward (July 1, 2013) the Botts were just starting to come back to church after not coming for a long time. We were new--I only know this about them because of, you know, things that Carey or her husband said. Around the same time, Carey's only daughter, Amber, died, leaving a son--Dawson. So Carey and her husband adopted Dawson to make the whole parenting of him easier--all the legalities and things were easier if he was adopted. So really, Carey is his grandmother, but he was 12 years old when he came to live with the Botts full time. (The Botts have a yours and mine situation with their children--Dawson is the only "ours" in the family, because he is legally their son, but biologically, he is Carey's grandson.)

Dawson was dealing with a lot of grief over the loss of his mother, and the Botts were dealing with raising a child after all their other children had long been raised. So sometimes things were fraught and sometimes things were difficult, but Dawson is a good kid, and his "parents" are good people.

Well, one day Carey posted something on the ward/neighborhood Facebook page about wanting to take Dawson to a BYU football game. He had never been, and Carey was hoping to find some tickets because there was a home game coming and the weather was going to be good.

So I read that notice, and somehow it came up in a conversation with Jennifer; I can't remember how or why--(Dec. 5: I actually remembered. Jennifer had posted tickets on Swap 'n Shop, and because of Carey's post, I asked for the tickets but was too late; someone else had claimed them. So Jennifer, being the kind person she is, stopped in to my office to apologize that I didn't get the tickets. And then I said, "Oh, I wasn't asking for myself, because I actually kind of hate football. And then I told her...) just how this young man in my ward who was going through a hard time really wanted to go to a football game. And at the time, the situation with Dawson was really dicey--he had been having some pretty serious mental health issues, and was hospitalized from time to time. The Botts were very worried, and it was just a super stressful time for them.

And, a few weeks after my conversation with Jennifer, I got this email from her: "I am not going to use my football tickets for this Saturday’s game against Fresno State. Before I offer them on the Swap ‘n Shop list, I wanted to find out whether the young man in your ward would like to have them? I have two tickets plus a parking pass. The game starts at 1pm. Do you want them?" (This was while Jennifer's family was in a commute situation. When she was first at BYU, her family was still in Stillwater, Oklahoma, and then her husband got a position at Dixie, which still made for a looooong commute--so Jennifer did not always have time on weekends for football games!)

Now, you know that as a dean, the tickets that Jennifer would get were much better tickets than the tickets that most people can purchase! The deans get very, very good tickets. And a parking pass! And Jennifer remembered about Dawson's situation--the recent loss of his mother, being raised by grandparents--so she not only gave him the tickets but kicked in some money so that he could buy himself a souvenir at the game. She put the tickets and the money in a card with a very sweet note of encouragement to him. (I now know that she had only recently lost her own mother, who died (of metastatic breast cancer) in 2012; I did not realize that at the time because she did not say that. It is hard to lose your mom, no matter how old you are, so I am sure her heart was breaking for this poor boy to have lost his mom at age 12.)

So Dawson had a wonderful time at the football game. Carey sent me this note, which I shared with Jennifer, "I want to thank you. Words can't express how much we appreciate you and your boss for those tickets. Dawson wasn't able to come home because of his behavior. I had to call his therapist and ask him if they would just give him a visit long enough to go to the game. He said yes, so I told Dawson what you and your boss gave him and he started crying. He said, "Mom, I can't believe some people care about me. I have always wanted a BYU souvenir." He was so excited when he called me from the State Hospital at 8 this morning. He was ready. Thank you! Thank you! I just can't tell you enough! He had me crying when he opened the envelope."

I was just the delivery person, so I got included in the thanks, but it was Jennifer's memory of Dawson's existence, and her compassion and generosity that was really behind it.

So, I had Jennifer on my mind because of her death, and then on Saturday, with me thinking about Jennifer's funeral on Monday, I hear that Carey has died! And this story, of course, that ties these two kind, loving, generous women together, each of them giving service to this poor, grief-stricken young man in their own way. Maybe they will meet in heaven, and Carey will tell about this one time that someone she didn't even know at BYU made an afternoon football game possible for her grandson turned son, and what a precious event it was for him--and Jennifer will just smile quietly and say "How wonderful!" because I do not think she would be the type to say "Oh! That was me!"

Anyways--a precious memory for me amidst all the death and dying.