The very best part of Christmas time

 For me, the very best part of Christmas time, unlike the song lyrics, is not the presents you give away, though that is on the list of best. For me, the very best part of Christmas time has always been the programs. As a child I LOVED Christmas programs! School programs, church programs, piano recital programs--call me crazy, but I love Christmas programs.

So, this year, there were no Christmas programs in person. But I have been so happy with the Christmas programs I have been able to participate in, as a watcher!

First, there was Nancy's family Christmas recital which was fun to watch live, and I can watch the different parts of it from their dress rehearsal which is posted on Nancy's blog. 

Then, there was my niece Elizabeth's wonderful Christmas program, which was so well-done by the Primary children and their leaders in E's ward. It was really good, and Elizabeth and Bridget each recited a scripture, and the last song was sung by Elizabeth in a duet with another woman and a pianist. So beautiful! Unfortunately, that link was only for two days, Dec. 19 and 20, so I only got to watch it a couple of times, but I did share the link with my sisters and daughters and nieces, so many of us got to enjoy it.

Last of all was my sister Colleen's Torrie Family Christmas Program 2020, which all her family participated in, she and LeRon, all their five children, and their nine grandchildren. It was so good, and filled with pictures of Colleen's family when they were young. I spied my parents in her slide show, too. It was just great! (And I should mention that C&L are in Sweden, Heather and family in Illinois, in a suburb of Chicago, Michelle and family in North Dakota, and the three sons and Eric's family in Alberta. Eric put things together for them.)

I am glad I can re-watch some of these when I feel the urge! (I am going to ask E if there is a way to watch hers again, too!) These Christmas programs have filled that Christmas Program Need that I have!

Another best part of Christmas is getting together with people we love--and that is not easy given the pandemic, but aren't we so lucky (blessed?) to have technology!!

Yesterday, I posted this on Facebook: What goes around comes around: just read this in a family history (of someone not in my own family)-- [name redacted] was born Oct 28, 1918. He was named for [names redacted] but [his naming ceremony] did not take place for a year. [Name redacted] wondered at this and went looking for the reason for the delay and found it was because of the flu epidemic which prevented people from gathering.

I am currently writing about a composer named Maurine Dewsnup, and it was her brother Grant who the above paragraph is about. When I posted this to my children in our family group chat, one of them (David) said "And they didn't have Zoom."

Yuppers! During the flu epidemic of 1918-1919, they wore masks, they socially distanced, I am sure they tried to keep as clean as they could. And they didn't have technology to make it easier!

Last night we had our family Christmas gathering. I invited all the grandchildren but none of them came except for Nancy's older children--to accommodate all the schedules and time zones, it takes some doing!! Easier since Patrick is here, and Hawaii isn't in the mix!!

Nancy took a picture of us:

I dunno--maybe this was even better than the programs!! It was so much fun to spend an hour together playing games! I sure do love all these people!

Breaking our own rules

 We have been super careful about not gathering unnecessarily...

But, in February, as soon as Patrick knew that he had permission to attend a conservators conference that was slated for Salt Lake City in May, he bought a plane ticket. Then, when all the conferences were cancelled, he was able to change his ticket penalty-free, so he changed it to December 21, thinking at the time that this (Corona Craze) would all be over with by then.

As it got closer and closer to December, and he was unsure what to do since things were clearly not over, and then actually getting worse...he kept waiting, and was scared to call the airline...and then he was just getting on a plane and using his ticket. Being super careful, as he has been as a matter of habit.

Kelli lives in Layton, and she volunteered to pick Patrick up at the airport, which was so nice of her. She and Allen had used the airport--which is new, and big, and confusing--already so she was familiar, and Patrick was arriving just at daylight, so I would have had to travel in the dark, and my kids all know that I am not the best at night-time driving. 

Then Kelli hoped to see her son Matthew, so she contacted him, and he said that he could come over here when he got off work, and so we ended up having a nice family dinner that was kind of Christmas-y last night. We were only six people, so we did not break the rules very much--the state rules not at all, because they allow up to ten people. I did not hug Kelli or Matthew or Patrick, though I wanted to--but Patrick did give Matthew a hug. 

So, while Josie and I were working and Dad was sleeping, Kelli and Patrick had a really nice visit, and then we had a nice time working together to prepare our meal (a roast chicken, potatoes and gravy, peas and salad and a cream cheesy dessert that Kelli made and brought with her.)

And then we had a nice visit with Kelli and Matthew until Matthew left, and finally we had to send Kelli home so that we could go to bed. It was really nice to be together! Even though we mostly kept our distance--we are thankful, in this new house, to have a living room big enough that we can pretty much stay six feet away from each other and still be in the same room.

For some reason, my photos would not load from my phone to my computer. Weird. But I could send them to Nancy on Facebook and then recover the photos from there. So here are the photos from the evening:

Notice the sign that Kelli took to the airport to greet Patrick with--I would have been embarrassed, but he just laughed!

The pictures are out of order and I don't know how to fix them. The picture of Dad with the little kitten is because she always turns around in circles on his lap, and she was pretty much upside down. (And no, she does not have the run of the house--but she can be upstairs in his lap. If she starts to act like she wants to get down and explore, she is booted downstairs.)

Family History, I am doing it...

 I had asked my friend Noel how she connects to John Howland, of Mayflower fame, because Noel and I are quite closely related on my dad's side, through the Holdaways. Like I am her mom's third cousin (which in our family is pretty close, because we KNOW our third cousins in many cases) but I descend from John Howland on my mom's side:

So, I wondered what line of my mom's Noel branches from, because clearly we are related in multiple ways. But Relative Finder always chooses the most direct connection, so I was stumped.  Tonight, Noel sent me her charts, and I don't know--the pictures she sent were pretty small, but I see Holdaway on it, and yet it leads to Howland, and so does that mean Dad descends from John Howland, too?

So I needed to find my index. When I was a young adult, I completely indexed mom's and dad's genealogy to find out where they were linked. (Yes, I have always been a hardcore nerd. Of course I enjoyed indexing!) To see if Mom and Dad link on the Chipman line, because I think they do. But I need proof. Maybe there is a way to do it on Family Search, but it is beyond me to figure out how.

And--downside to moving--I can't find the right genealogy book! I have three--one is stories and pictures, one is pedigree charts, and one is family group sheets. The index is in the pedigree charts book, and I found the other two--completely in different places, not with each other, but I can't find the pedigree charts book!! But when I found my teal book--the stories and pictures one--tucked away was a sheet of my mom's handwriting. 

It was the list of ideas about her siblings that she wrote for us for the Family Reunion we did--I think it was the one in the Red Barn in Raymond years ago? I don't think it was the one in Taber, because our theme was World War II, wasn't it?

Anyways--we were supposed to make a game about all the siblings, and then people were supposed to guess who was being described. We only chose one thing per person, and I don't think I have kept a copy of the game itself, but here is what Mom wrote about nine of her siblings.  There was not so much to say about Mary Beth, since she died so young, and Ila June was rather unique. So she didn't write about them or herself, but here are her descriptions of her other siblings.

At the top she has cautioned: say "they" instead of he or she--she didn't want us to give those kind of clues!

Loren: liked to draw maps. In 7th grade took first place for a map at the School Fair. (She notes that Loren was competing against all the grades, up to 12th grade when he won this honor.) In MIA as a teen, took third place in a speech contest. Sang with the Ricks College Choir at General Conference. Played cello in the Raymond Orchestra and in the Ricks College Orchestra.

Alma: played violin in the Knight Academy Junior Orchestra. [Knight Academy was a church-owned secondary school, later sold to the province and became RHS. N. Lorenzo Snow, who I wrote an encyclopedia article about here, was his music teacher.] Participation in politics led to a special nickname: "Senator." Was mayor of Raymond.

Royal: had picture taken with siblings "on the moon." [Where is this picture? I just looked on Family Search and it isn't there. I wonder if Colleen has it. Taken of just the three oldest children, if I remember correctly.] Rode bicycle, Raymond to Waterton, on gravel roads, with his brothers, to camp and mountain climb. HIs house was struck by lightning in the 1940's. Damaged, but no fire. Trapped two grizzly bears. Their raging screams heard two miles away. [This is such a fun fact, because Uncle Royal was so very quiet and unassuming. Yet he trapped TWO grizzlies! Also, Mom didn't write about his wonderful music talent on piano and organ because he never stopped, so everyone knew that. Whereas not all the nieces and nephews knew about Loren's cello or Alma's violin.]

Edna: almost bled to death when suffering from flu, as a child. Studied dairying at Raymond School of Agriculture for two years. Lived 28 years where it rained nearly every day. (Vancouver) Liked bowling, quilt designing and quilting. Won Provincial award for quilt. Cheered up other cancer patients. [Aunt Edna's granddaughter Brenda just recently posted Aunt Edna's most prized quilt of all on Facebook. This one she quilted for Canada's centennial in 1967, won prizes at the time, and for the sesquicentennial in 2017, Brenda got to display it again at the Quilter's Guild in Vancouver. Aunt Edna brought parts of this quilt on a visit to Alberta, and I sat by her and she talked about her design. I have always wondered what became of this quilt. So glad to know that Brenda has it!]

Earl: When clock was stopped, with siblings ran all the way to school--a mile--[so as not to be late]--an hour early for school. [Earl was early!] Dressed as royalty to entertain at Payson Reunion in Raymond. It led to a special nickname "Duke". [Which was the name he used when entertaining as a one-man band. My mother's brothers were very musical!]

Lillis: was an expert at finger-waving ladies hair. Practiced a song on the piano, all summer. Played it better than her piano teacher. [Her sisters could be musical, too.]

Zelpha: always cheerful and jolly. Special to a young boy (Bruce C.)--collected Nabisco car wheels for him. [I think they were Jello, not Nabisco. After Bruce outgrew them, Arlene and I played with them and LOVED them.]

Leo: Halloween prank: with friends, galloped down Raymond main street (gravel road) with horses and a wagon with rocks. At dairy, lassoed a neighbor (Bob Graham) who had Grandpa Ed Hancock by shirt front, shaking and threatening him. [Bob had Grandpa by the shirt front shaking and threatening him, so Leo lassoed the neighbor.] Has laid more wreaths in one day on graves and cenotaphs than anyone else in the family (in France, June 6, 1999.)

Celia: A leader of fun and games with peers at Raymond Public School recess. Always had lots of friends. A registered square dance caller.

Well, I just wanted to record these somewhere. I think that some people--Miriam, maybe?--might be interested in how musical my mother's family was. 

Noel just corrected me that it is her ancestor who married the Holdaway whose line goes back to Hope Howland, daughter of John Howland. But I still want to find my index!!

Birthday and Bears and Blathering

 Today is my birthday, and I realized that I was a year older than I thought I was. Holy cow, the numbers are getting high!

Happy Birthday to me--snow for my birthday. Oh, goody. My favorite thing.  I was planning to go out and run errands--but I am sticking to the house.

I was thinking about bears, and how I made that Three Bears video for Alexander...I made a different Three Bears video for my great-niece Bridget. Or is it my grand-niece Bridget? I guess it doesn't matter, because she is both great and grand, in my opinion. Such a sweet girl with the most amazing blue eyes! 

In other news, I blather on to say, I have been making tables of all the music content in older church magazines. They can be found here.

Right now, like exactly now, I am going through the 1922 Relief Society magazine, and was very surprised to come upon this headline on a page:

What?!!! I had flipped past the page (451--the pagination is sequential through the entire year and this page happens to fall in August) because it was not music, and I thought, "Did I just see 'God bless my stupid soul'?"  So I turned back to it, and indeed, I did! That surprised me!

One more post for me

Sorry, any readers, but I am just saving this post for me.

By Frank W. Fox, who was the founder of the American Heritage class at BYU. (Which, by the way, I was so happy to be able to take a version of this class for foreign students. I don't think they have that any more. Well, I took it prior to 1980, so it wasn't the same anyway.)

The election is over. Life is moving on. Here is a final word: At the end of the day, patriotism (the love of one's country) is far more important than partisanship (loyalty to a party or cause). When I was growing up (keep in mind that I'm 80 now), Mormons were patriots first and partisans second. In fact, Mormons (that was the word we used then, of course) had a fierce, pioneer-style independent attitude and self-sufficiency even when they participated in party politics.

When my colleagues and I created the American Heritage program at BYU in the 1980s, we were informed by the politics of that moment, the party platforms of that moment. I certainly hope that all BYU students since then grew in their patriotism and reverence for the miracle of American representative democracy. I fear, though, that we left unaddressed certain assumptions that were developing in LDS culture: that there is only one right party, only one right way to vote or participate. If I were designing the course and program today, I would make it clear that LDS people should, because of our commitment to the Restored Gospel, always be patriots before being partisans. 

I don't want any party to think they own me because they can "count on my vote." No, I want to hold a party accountable by always being willing to change my vote if my moral calculus demands it. 

Like the "enlightened self-interest" that we describe when discussing the necessary conditions for free-market economics, this type of "moral political independence" is the necessary condition to sustaining a viable popular government. You see, in American political history, conservative and liberal movements have generally kept each other in check, which usually leads us (that big "Us" that includes all Americans) through our differences to a middle way. (That was the genius of Madison's "large republic.") And our better politicians have performed a similar function: to draw us together in that shared way forward. 

Conservative and liberal impulses can each have their moments, and they can provide a sort of yin-yang creative tension for making sense of the quantity and quality of our government. What's surprising is that when one movement becomes too extreme, the other can actually become more extreme too, and the balance is shattered. And it's painful—for all of us—when that balance is lost.

Cougars, if your big "takeaway" from American Heritage was "always vote Republican," then I have failed you. But I don't think I failed based on the thousands of thoughtful engagements we've had in the past two months. I hope that what you take from American Heritage is: 1) Always vote! 2) Always feed your conscience with good information (history and current issues) from a variety of good sources—think of President Nelson's recent teaching that "that good inspiration is based upon good information." 3) Vote your conscience, committing to yourself that you'll be a patriot before being a partisan. Please, please, don't confuse the two.

It's true that Donald Trump's presidency and the prospect of his reelection caused me to speak up from my retirement, but I hope you see that in my messages and efforts I've tried to refocus the conversation on the foundational premises of American government. On the non-negotiable, evergreen themes of Truth-telling and Civic Virtue. On patriotism. This is SO much bigger than Trump or Biden. 

If anything, I hope that my efforts have provided a call to action. I'm in great health, but I likely won't be around in 20 years. For those of you who will: Get involved sooner rather than later. Vote, run for office, volunteer, help. Do it for your love of this amazing country. Work through whichever parties you must to be morally whole as you make your best contributions, but transcend the pettiness and nastiness of this unsustainable partisan bickering. Don't settle for fool's choices. If BYU is meant to be "a light on the hill" as we often say, then you can be emissaries of that light as you bring your best selves to our rare, miraculous form of popular government. I hope you will.

Books Read November 2020

 Six books in November. 

1. Inventing Victoria by Tonya Bolden. 

Essie is the daughter of a successful black prostitute in 1880's Savannah, GA. Her mother owns her own place and has a couple of girls working for her--but Essie does not want that kind of life for herself. She leaves home to take a menial job as a servant in a boarding house. She is poor but treated well at her job. One of the frequent guests, Mrs. Vachon, takes an interest in Essie and invites her to Boston, where the story turns into a Pygmalion tale--Essie is educated, clothed, changed into a new girl, and is forced to break all ties with her past so she can become a new person. She chooses the name Victoria for this new iteration of herself. She has a love/hate relationship with the transformation process! She wants to be educated and never to be forced into prostitution through poverty as her mother was--but she misses the people who are dear to her back in Savannah. 

This story was really interesting to me because of the black/black divide it highlights. Where money and lifestyle is what divides; not race. Clearly, we have the same divide in the white world. It was just looking at race through a different lens, so it was very interesting to me.

2. The Sisters Grimm book four: Once Upon a Crime by Michael Buckley

Having made a hole in the shield that surrounds Ferryport Landing (the shield keeps the Everafters trapped there) the Grimm family heads to New York City to find the fairies, so they can heal Puck from the terrible injury he sustained at the end of book three. The fairies live in an underground kingdom that is under Central Park. Who knew? They do manage to get Puck cured, but his father Oberson is killed by the Red Hand. The Wizard of Oz figures into this part of the Grimms story. Another cliffhanger ending as the family heads back home.

3. The Spies of Shilling Lane by Jennifer Ryan

By the same author who wrote The Chilbury Ladies' Choir, a book that I enjoyed reading a few years ago. I really liked that the main character was not really a very likeable person, and that her evolution, her discovery of herself and how to be a nicer person, was an important component to the book. I loved the way she and her daughter's landlord team up to find her missing daughter, him mostly against his will, but he is just too nice not to help. Some of the things that happened toward the end were a little too deus ex machina for my liking, but overall I liked the book.

4. Back to The Sisters Grimm--book 5: Magic and Other Misdemeanors

The Queen of Hearts (Mrs. Heart) is the new mayor of Ferryport Landing. She and her new Sheriff (of Nottingham) are not the city leaders that most people hope for--taxes are rising steeply as they try to force all the non-Everafters to leave town. And what has happened to Prince Charming? Ever since he lost the election, nobody can find him. Snow White is heartbroken. The Grimms discover that there is a rip in time, and meet their future selves. Can they get back to their own time and make better decisions? 

5. Straw into Gold: Fairy Tales Re-spun by Hilary McKay

This book was delightful. It is a collection of retold tales. Rumpelstiltskin, Cinderella and The Princess and the Pea were my favorites. I will use Cinderella as an example. This Cinderella is so honest--like, of course if she REALLY fell in love with the prince she would just be able to talk to him freely, right? Which she does. When she is dancing with him, she is also noticing how hard it would be to clean certain places in the palace, and talking about it. He knows all about her. When she runs away, one of her glass slippers breaks, cutting her foot. Like, this Cinderella is real. 

6. Americanized: Rebel without a Green Card by Sara Saidi

Probably my favorite read this month, this memoir tells what it was like for a child brought to the US at age two on a visitor's visa. They deliberately do not return to Iran (it was during the reign of Khomeini) and apply for asylum, and while they are waiting, the INS loses their application. Rather distressing to find that out! They then have to apply for adjustment of status, which they do using two different sponsors--Sara's grandmother, and her uncle. The parents both have social security numbers from their student days years earlier, so they work, pay taxes, build a small business--all while knowing that they could be deported at any time. When they are advised that the grandmother's sponsorship might be the fastest route, Sara's parents actually get divorced so that her mother can be single, a better state for her to be in for her mother's sponsorship. Then her mother dies, so that path is cut off, so they have to quickly get remarried so they don't ruin the other sponsorship path. The various rules are CRAZY. Like, the legal paths are a bit nuts, honestly. After 15 years in the US, the Saidi daughters FINALLY get temporary work permits so they can get social security numbers and work. It is 17 years before Sami, the oldest daughter finally gets her Green Card, literally DAYS before she turns 21 and would have aged out of her family's application, and she would have had to start over. (Their mom gets hers at the same time.) Two years later, Sara and her dad finally get theirs. But the wait is not over--Sara cannot be completely sure about anything until she gets her citizenship five years later--leaving the country on an Irani passport always leaves a person vulnerable at passport inspection, so traveling is something you just don't want to do in that situation. 

Between chapters, Sara answers frequently asked questions, and has a whole section of advice to young undocumented people such as she was for so many years. Like, do not EVER do anything wrong. She smoked pot a few times as a teen, for example--that was a very bad move. Especially in today's zero tolerance America--do not do ANYTHING that might get you even a small misdemeanor charge. Your American friends might be willing to take that risk, but you have too much to lose. Just don't. And other good advice for kids like her, who feel American, but aren't.