Today was Stake Conference. Patrick and I happened to sit near a Hispanic sister, who had wanted to listen to conference in English, but found that she understood less of the speakers than she had hoped to. She asked me if I would write down, in English, from my notes, what I had heard and then email it to her, because her reading comprehension in English is better than her listening comprehension. So I did that. I am glad she asked me, because recalling the talks with the intent to help her understand them was a very good experience, which involved some prayer, and some really careful remembering. So here is what I sent her.
The guest speakers were Scott and Tammy Runia. Elder Runia is a
member of the 3rd Quorum of the Seventy. Sister Runia spoke first
Sister Runia referred to D & C 122, where the Lord says
that in verse seven that “that all these things shall give thee experience, and
shall be for thy good.” This scripture can help us to understand that
experience is valuable. Sometimes the only way to have it (experience) is to go
through it. We can’t always learn from reading about someone else’s experience,
or watching someone else’s experience—we need experiences for ourselves. This
includes hard things, because God doesn’t give us what we want; he gives us
what we need.
She spoke of her son Ryan’s death four years ago, as a young
man of 31. He woke up on Monday morning, kissed his wife and four children goodbye
and headed to work, but then died that day of an undiagnosed heart condition.
The next day (Tuesday) was his young daughter Piper’s birthday, and Sister Runia said
that as she watched her granddaughter on that day, she saw her looking around
the room and knew that she was looking for her daddy, but he wasn’t there. And
she just could not understand why Ryan, their son, had to die and leave his
little family.
She said that as a young child and a young woman, she
thought of the gospel like this giant protective umbrella. So, if you keep the
commandments, you will be blessed. If you live the Word of Wisdom, you will be
healthy. If you pay your tithing, you will be financially secure, etc. But
actually, that is not always the way it is—as in Matthew 5:45 “for he maketh
his sun to rise on the evil and on the good, and sendeth rain on the just and
on the unjust.” The gospel is not the umbrella—it is the foundation we are
standing on while it is raining.
She said, “I know that God knows that we cannot live with
him until we are like him.” That means we need to pass through experiences that
are hard. Ryan’s death was very hard for Sister Runia. It was also hard for the
rest of the family. On a night a few days after Ryan’s death, when their
youngest daughter was having a really hard time about it, Sister Runia told her
daughter, I don’t understand why this is in Ryan’s plan, but I trust in God
that there is a plan.
Not understanding is not the same as not believing. We might
not understand why something hard is a part of our plan, but we can still
believe that God has a plan for us. His plan is personal and purposeful. He has
an individual plan of salvation for each one of us. If we can live our lives
with hope instead of fear, we can trust Him that whatever hard thing we are
going through will work together for our good.
She said that one of her favorite hymns is “Come, ye
disconsolate” (this hymn does not appear in the Spanish Himnos) which has a
line that says “Earth has no sorrow that Heaven cannot heal.” She talked about
why the word is heal, and not cure. She said that most of us don’t want to be
healed, we want to be cured. (Curing means "eliminating
all evidence of disease," while healing means "becoming
whole.") Healing incorporates the injury—the injury or hurt or illness is
still there, but made whole, or is no longer harmful but still a part of our
whole being.
Sister Runia talked about a friend who had
been working out, but then stopped, and her children teased her that her body
was going to become flabby and fat without the exercise. The friend said, “Just
wait until you see my spirit body! It is so strong from all the spiritual
exercise it is getting!” Our spirit bodies change as we come to Christ. Prayer
is a form of work. It is work that helps to make our spirits stronger. Sister Runia realized that she needed to work
harder at her prayers—she needed to move from casual prayer to mighty prayer.
She knows she has been successful with she cries while praying—when her heart
is touched, and softened by God. If she prays this way in the morning, as she
goes about her day, her heart is soft and full, and she can be more forgiving
and kind to those around her. Then at night, she returns and reports to God
about how her day went. She has learned that she needs to align herself with
God. Because prayer doesn’t change God, but it changes you. As you pray
mightily in this way that changes you, God has promised that “all things
wherewith you have been afflicted shall work together for your good.” (D &
C 98:3)
She ended with a story about her brother,
who was taking a sculpting class at BYU. The final assignment was to make a
sculpture of yourself. He thought his sculpture looked like him, but something
was missing, and try as he might, he could not get it to be the way he hoped it
would be. He noticed that others in the class were receiving help from the teacher
(the master sculptor) but he didn’t want help—he wanted to do it himself. He
wanted it to be all him. He noticed that with just a few seconds of help, with
just a minute adjustment, other students’ sculptures went from good to
wonderful with the touch of the master’s hand. Finally, he humbled himself to
ask the teacher for help, and the same transformation happened with his
sculpture—the teacher, in just a few tiny adjustments, made his sculpture so
much better. And that is how it is with
us in our lives—we need the touch of the Master’s hand to make our lives turn
out. His plan for us is the best plan, and we need him.
Elder Runia spoke of Elder Russell M. Nelson
posing the question to a gathering of 18-30 year olds, “Have you ever felt
alone?” He said that everyone has felt this way at some point, some more than
others. But we don’t have to be alone. We can have the Savior beside us. He
talked about being a true disciple, one
who hungers and thirsts to learn about Jesus, which we can do by
studying the words
of Jesus in the Old Testament, where is manifest as Jehovah, in the New
Testament, the Book of Mormon, and the Doctrine and Covenants. This is
something
that Elder Runia has been trying to do in his own life. He spoke of
taking this message to men in prison at Gunnison, and told of some of
his experiences there. (The men singing Beatles songs, and how the group
had been told that no clapping was allowed, but the singing was so
good, that the men just couldn't help themselves, but had to clap.
Sister Runia wanted to clap, too, but Elder Runia said, "We can't--the
guard told us not to!" The clapping almost got the meeting shut down. He
spoke of the tender feelings he has had, watching men in the prison go
through the repentance process.)
Elder Runia also described his feelings
about his much loved son, Ryan, and the experiences surrounding his death. The
day before Ryan died was a Sunday, and Elder Runia had a busy day that day,
serving as a Stake President. His birthday was the next day, and so he and his
wife were intending to invite all their children to their home for dessert that
evening, because Elder Runia had an early flight for business the next morning.
He and his second son were taking that flight; Ryan was staying behind,
carrying on with the family business at which all three worked. Ryan had been
working with his dad for seven years, and Elder Runia loved working with him.
Well, Ryan and his wife decided that they should invite the entire family to
their home for dinner that Sunday evening before his father’s birthday, so that
is what they did. Elder Runia and Sister Runia made plans to attend.
While they were there at Ryan’s home that
evening, Ryan got a call from a person he was home teacher to. This man was
upset, because his wife had just told him that she was leaving him. Even with
his family gathered, Ryan felt it was important to go and be with this man who
had called, and so he slipped away for a while. Back home again, he related to
his wife and family that he had told this man, “You can either curse God and
blame Him, or you can let God in, and let Him heal you.”
The next morning early, his birthday, Elder
Runia and his second son were at the airport in Georgia on a layover, when they
received the phone call that Ryan had died. Instead of continuing their
business trip, they changed their flights and went home. Heartbroken and upset,
Elder Runia remembered Ryan’s words of the night before, “You can curse God and
blame Him, or you can let Him in, and let Him heal you.” Trying to apply this
counsel to yourself is a very hard thing.
But that is what Elder Runia tried to do. He kept running into people
who needed help in the days and weeks after Ryan’s death—at Ryan’s funeral, a
friend from his BYU basketball team days came to the funeral. When he thanked
this man for coming he learned that this man was really down on his luck and
also very ill. He helped him to find a temporary place to stay. He helped him
through his final illness and death. Elder Runia again repeated to himself his
son Ryan’s words, “You can curse God and blame Him, or you can let Him in, and
let Him heal you.” He relied on these words, because his hurt over Ryan’s death
was so great. “Every morning when you wake up, you hope it is a bad dream, but
it isn’t,” he said. But as you keep serving the Lord, he is healing you.
Next, a young friend of the family got very
ill, and needed surgery. The surgeon, a good friend of Elder Runia’s, told him
that the young man’s condition was such that he only had about a 10% chance of surviving
the surgery, and that he should probably plan on not surviving. This young man’s
wife was pregnant and soon to deliver a child. The surgeon asked the woman’s
doctor if the child could be induced so that the young man would be able to
hold his child and give it a name and a blessing. This happened, and Elder
Runia was there in the hospital for that occasion—a heart wrenching situation. Once
again, Elder Runia found himself relying on Ryan’s words, “You can curse God
and blame Him, or you can let Him in, and let Him heal you.” As Elder Runia was
leaving the hospital that night, he met an older lady who was confused. Her
husband was in the hospital for surgery, and she was worried about him, but at
present, she needed help: she could not find her car. “Are you a good young
man?” she asked Elder Runia. “I think you are,” she said, gesturing to his
white shirt and tie. (He was just delighted that she called him YOUNG!) He went
with her to find her car, probably driving past it twenty times in the parking
lot, because she had a hard time remembering anything. Another unlooked for
opportunity to help someone, but again a chance to serve, and by serving, be
healed. Through service, wonderful things come. Wonderful healing comes of
broken hearts.
Elder Runia, like his wife, spoke about building
our lives on a sure foundation, the gospel of Jesus Christ, from whence healing
comes. He said that they, the seventy, as a body, have been instructed to “prepare
our saints for meet Jesus Christ.” He doesn’t know if that meeting will come
for us as it came to his son Ryan, with a sudden call home to heaven when it
was completely unexpected, or after a long life and old age, or if it will be
because of the Savior coming in his glory—but in any case, he feels the urgency
to prepare to meet Him.
We can look forward to our meeting with God
will be wonderful, because He is cheerful, pleasant, lively, happy, nice to be
around—He is everything that we are when we feel this spirit. So that is how we
should strive to be—like Him.
